


The Kazon Feast

by ghosteye99



Category: Star Trek Voyager
Genre: Gen, Horror, Humor, Kazon, Threshold - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:17:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosteye99/pseuds/ghosteye99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some Kazon colonists discover an unusual new taste sensation. Where did they come from? (Inspired by the Threshold episode)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kazon Feast

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Characters and setting belong to Paramount Pictures, not me. No profit or harm intended. This is a fanfiction, not Canon.

Mukur, of the Kazon Ogla (who, like the rest of his crew, was currently marooned for ...’strategic’ reasons), looked with satisfaction over the beast he’d caught that day - now sizzling on a spit he’d hewn himself. He’d always fancied himself a master at anything he turned his hand to, whether it be hunting, forging a blade, tuning a blaster, brewing a toxin, manoeuvring any kind of ship known - or guiding women in turning a perfect roast.

When they’d first come to that unpleasant, swampy world on their Maje’s orders, it was Mukur’s wish that the only large animal life forms they’d detected there would provide suitable sustenance for his men. He was not disappointed – the taste had a slight muddiness that was easy to become accustomed to, but it was otherwise very succulent, and addictively tasty.

Had he’d had the luck of the Maje of the Nistrim, and had the chance to board that infamous foreigner warship _Voyager_ , and then somehow thought to say the word “crispy bacon” to one of its replicators, Mukur would have something to compare it to. But he didn’t, so all he could say was that it was like nothing the Kazon had ever known before.

Mukur had thought of making attempts to domesticate some, but the beasts seemed to breed so prolifically that he’d shelved that idea for later. What did mystify him was the relative rarity of mature adults, and an unusually great abundance of juveniles. 

The latter were easy to catch, but insipid in taste – _women’s_ food. _Not_ to mention that many showed minor deformities, in spite of an unpolluted environment and low radiation levels. He’d wondered about inbreeding, but that didn’t make sense when there were so many of them spread out over so much of the continent. 

Whatever the cause, Mukur had to hunt all day to find one of a size and perfection suitable for feeding _men_. 

Sitting down to sharpen one of his hunting blades, he barked an order at a wench that was currently turning the spit handle. Without a word, she grabbed a ladle to give the creature another basting. He scratched at something that had tried to crawl into one of his hair-clumps, flicked it into the coals, and remembered _another_ rumour he’d heard about the foreign starship. 

One that had, it was said, been transmitted to the Nistrim by a traitorous foreigner from that very ship itself.

The tale went that a man of the crew had risen in mutiny against his woman captain, abducted her, transformed her into a beast - along with himself, and then made her bear his young. 

Mukur scoffed at the story, whatever strange technologies the foreigners’d had - for the last he’d heard from the Nistrim, their Maje had survived an unsuccessful attempt to steal the ship, and he’d found the captain still humanoid, the crew still obedient to her (and also all humanoid), and only one child on the ship - and that one hadn’t appeared to be hers. He preferred to believe _that_ story to the other. 

Though, come to think of it - if the ‘other’ was true, then he wouldn’t mind finding the planet where it had happened, and with his men, hunt down the foreign Captain’s offspring one by one until the Delta Quadrant was purged of their presence. The thought deeply warmed the cockles of his Kazon soul, but he knew that would probably never happen...

...Mukur got up, and tested the knife on one of the beast’s long barbells, and then stuck it into one of the two stubby limbs to check how it was cooking. He noticed that the long, flat tail had also gone nice and crispy at the edges.

It looked nearly done, so he ordered the woman away, knowing that a short while hanging back-down over the firepit was all that was needed now to finish it properly. He took in the savoury aroma with a grin, and strode off to fetch an errand boy so he could inform the other warriors to make ready for the feast.

**-End-**


End file.
